Lana Del Rey ft. Bleachers, Noah Kahan

2024

…a month after I turned 25, I received a flicker of hope in the form of a Quantitative Assessment to internally transfer abroad. After several rounds of interviews, and after confiding to my colleagues that “I’m probably not getting accepted anyway”, I received an offer letter on the 15th of April.

My wedding day, which was set to be October 27th, abruptly became a random day in July. I initially wanted to get married in Bandung, on a hillside hotel overlooking the valley, but that too had to be scrapped. Then on a random day in August, we started our life together in Dubai.

2021

Previously, I wrote about how nostalgia was what moved me back home from the Netherlands. While that remains true, a large chunk of me wanted to be closer to my parents. At the time, my father had just gotten COVID, and I couldn’t bear to be away.

Little did I know that my being home doesn’t stop heartbreaking things from happening.

2022

A little over a year since I moved, October 19th to be exact, I received a call at 5 in the morning that my father had collapsed and couldn’t move. My strong, hardworking father had suffered a stroke. It will rob him of his job, his memories, and his fluency. And it will forever rob me of my heart.

Being the youngest daughter, my father had naturally spoiled me. I didn’t have to shoulder the expectations that my older brother had to —which, as a result, crushed him. Yet, I knew that there was nobody else to rely on. Someway somehow, I have to be capable and independent.

With no time to waste, I quickly got off the train at the nearest station. At this point in time, I was at my second eCommerce company, working a job everyone knew was wasting me.

If you get on the wrong train, get off at the nearest station. The longer it takes you to get off, the more expensive the return trip will be –Japanese Proverb

So I did everything I could. I picked up Iki Buns after 6 months, selling true Italian Tiramisu some still claim to be the best they ever had. I applied to numerous jobs, while making sure I do the one I have properly. That same quarter, the company went through its first major layoff. The news astounded me deeply, as it had impacted my closest friend. I saw colleagues I worked with pack their desks and update their profiles with an #OpenToWork frame despite their years of dedication. As much as I “knew” the layoffs wouldn’t struck my team, I knew better than to stay in a shaky building.

By the Grace of Allah, a month after the tragedy and a week after I got my second COVID, I received a message inviting me to take an Aptitude Test for a job I had applied to. I passed, and I was scheduled to present a Case Study to a panel of managers. That weekend, my then-boyfriend got extremely ill, and the day before, I accidentally cut my finger.

2023

Someway somehow, they accepted me. I started my first day on the 20th of February, not knowing that…