Harvard motto, MIT motto

A lot may find my depression —for lack of better word— bitter (though I doubt any would even care enough to think about me in the first place). So, consider this a cry for help. My raw expression of frustration.

Looking back, it started the moment I stepped foot in Dubai. As much as the opportunity wooed me, I couldn’t help but feel my heart sink to the pit of my stomach. “Did I make the right choice?”

To tell you the truth, I actually didn’t have any intention of advancing my career this drastically. I had prayed for a way out of my pitiful situation and a peaceful life. But God provided me this. And it would have been more stupid of me if I didn’t take the chance. So I did.

What unraveled since then was work, stress, and isolation beyond what I could have imagined. Though I hate to admit it, it also pushed me to undo my active and healthy lifestyle; scrapping my weight loss progress entirely. I now hate what I see in my person and how I feel in every shower.

Before, when all I focused on were the numbers and the potential outlook I would have in life, I was excited. It was something I had hoped for the longest time. Even writing this now, I feel guilty and angry at myself for being dejected. Simply put, I hated being human. Greedy and ungrateful.

Then a week ago, I picked up my Ferrari fable again (i.e. Robin S. Sharma’s “The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari”) in hopes of distracting my “being human”. And I came across wildly enlightening passages.

The average person runs about 60,000 thoughts. 95% of those thoughts were the same as the ones you thought the day before! Those people who think the same thoughts every day, most of them negative, have fallen into bad mental habits.

Most of us have the same raw materials from the moment we take our first breath of air; what separates those people who achieve more than others or those that are happier than others is the way that they use and refine these raw materials.

We might not be able to control the weather or the traffic or the moods of all those around us. But, we most certainly can control our attitude towards these events. We all have the power to determine what we will think about in any given moment. This ability is part of what makes us human.

No matter what happens to you in your life, you alone have the capacity to choose your response to it.

There is a bright side to the darkest circumstance —if you have the courage to look for it.

Dare to dream that you are more than the sum of your current circumstances. Expect the best. You will be astonished at the results.

I saw the seeds of opportunity in my painful experience. More importantly, I had the courage to nourish them.

As you can imagine, it resonated pangs through my soul. I realized that I had fallen into “bad mental habits” because I anguished over my work and the harsh struggle of securing a dual income in 2025 Dubai (the job market here was never this challenging before).

But also, I wasn’t driven by priorities that serve my purpose and fans the flames of my inner potential. Things that Robin claims are what those who rise with the sun (aka “people who achieve more or are happier than others”) all have in common. In that moment, I learned the reason why I felt like a deflated tube of bicycle tire. Out of nowhere, I stood up, grabbed my sticky note, and listed down the things I like:

• I like studying
• I like proving things
• I like sharing wisdom
• I like helping
• I like writing
• I like seeing others achieve things, especially those who were set back in life
• I like planning
• I like visualizing things

and the things I want:

• I want to become a PhD
• I want to become a writer
• I want to become an expert
• I want to build a trust fund foundation

While I am not at complete liberty to pursue all that I like and all that I want right now, I do know that where I am eases, perhaps even uncovered, the path that I am made for.

Planning, proving, visualizing… these exist in my day-to-day tasks. Later in the future, if someone wanted proof that I am good at what I’m passionate about, I would have the privilege of bringing my current position as a strong evidence. Then came Robin’s second wisdom.

The purpose of life is a life of purpose.

Those who are truly enlightened know what they want out of life, emotionally, materially, physically and spiritually.

Anyone can revolutionize their lives once they revolutionize the direction in which they are moving. But if you don’t even know where you are going, how will you ever know when you get there?

The third one particularly hit me that I almost cried in Yatsudoki Châteraisé. The story continued with a demonstration by the teacher, an expert archer, to his student.

“I have seen you strike the bull’s-eye from a mark almost 300 feet away and I cannot recall a time that you have ever missed at your current distance (100 feet).” Then, with his eyes covered by the cloth and his feet placed securely in the earth, the teacher drew the bow with all his energy and released the arrow—missing its mark by an embarrassingly large distance. “What you just saw confirms the most important principle for anyone seeking to attain their goals and to fulfill their life’s purpose: you will never be able to hit a target that you cannot see.”

And that is where I will leave you, as I have left myself, to ponder.